Life in the face of death

Somewhere it says in the Bible that if we seek the Lord with all our hearts we shall surely find him. The phrase "all our hearts" catches my attention. As I read or think of that passage, it sounds as though we need to make seeking God our priority. That is the number one thing we do. Everyting in our life is aimed to that priority. And for me that's true, at least it is now; it has taken me a long time to get to that point. There were a lot of other priorities to be tried first.

When I was young, my priority happened to be the girl I was courting at the time. She occupied my time, my thoughts and my money - she was my priority.

Then I met my life partner, Alice, and she has become my priority most of the time. I say most of the time because there have been other events that for a time consumed my thoughts, time and money. Finding my life vocation, preparing for retirement, educating my children, rejoicing in my grandchildren all and more have taken the top spot for a time in my life.

"Seek God with all your heart!" yes, that is my priority but God's graciousness permits me to have other priorities as well.

When my mother died, I was 14, and I heard my Dad crying inthe night; I was consumed by my loss, my lack of future and my anger at God.

Then when Dad was killed at work I began the process again - I could not make peace with myself or with my Dad (I was really angry at him - he shouldn't have been at work) but there was no peace until I made peace with God. That priority had to affect all my others.

I was forcibly reminded of that when at age 3 or 4 our youngest son, Josh, fell off a sliding board and suffered a concussion. Life and death hung in the balalnce. My cry was "No God, not him" and that night people from churches I have served came together and cried with me. God gave him back.

Now I watch in pain as my daughter in law struggles with her father's illness. Her faith seems so strong, but so did mine, and I want to reach out to her - yet I do not want to tread where I am not invited. Her Dad is her priority and I can only pray that in her seeking of God she will know that special peace God gives.

Then there is my mother in law, Mom Horton struggles. She fell on some ice and has been in pain and almost bedfast for three weeks. The family has rallied and again churches are praying. I am again reminded of my priority. I need to minister to my wife, she is my priority and somehow I need to affirm my love for Mom Horton, she too is my priority. I didn't get a chance to say those words to my mom and dad; it is a priority for me to say them to Mom Horton, "I love you." From the conversations we've had, I'm sure our Susan has told her mom and dad how special they are in her life; how much she loves them and that's good.

So I struggle with my priorities; I finally live comfortably with God as my number one priority; but given the circumstances of life there are other priorities that need to be cared for also. One of the great things about having God as my prority is that he carries the burdens of the others with me.

Jesus said "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these shall be added as well."

Peace